All You Can Eat!...But Not Really...

Listen bud, there are only so many fish... you gotta follow the rules.  Didn't you read the sign? It says...wait... it says "All u can eat".  As in, as much as you are capable of eating.  If possible to put it in any simpler terms, feed the man until he explodes, or don't put the sign up.  They even put "U" instead of "you" so you know it's legit. 

Listen, if I go to an all you can eat fish fry, buffet, BBQ, or a damn whale blubber festival... I expect to eat as much as I can shove down my ugly face.  Hell, shove a burger in my mouth and drop-kick it down my throat...I'm fuckin' hungry.  I don't expect to be like, "be careful not to eat too much at this ALL YOU CAN EAT, INHALE, OR PENETRATE YOUR BODY WITH WHALE BLUBBER FESTIVAL!"

This guy can wolf down 12 pieces of fish and asks for more, let him keep going.  He has been a problem in the past?  Take one for the team for a day and watch him suffocate himself in greasy fried fish.  No more problem.  Also, they complained that they were running out of fish, yet they tell him to leave, and as an incentive, give him another 8...EIGHT...pieces of fish.  Alright, so if my math is correct, by the laws of the Fat Shit Double Chin Theorem, that's 20 fuckin' pieces of fish.  You honestly think he is going to eat more than that?  If that's the case, this guy should be banned from SeaWorld.  He may make the whales jealous.  Fuck you Shamu, you got nothing on this guy.

"They do have the best deep dish pizza in town."

Nevermind, this guy is a fat shit, cut him off...