William Lawlis Pace, Record-Holder For Living Longest With Bullet In Head, Dies At 103

HuffingtonPost Report:

TURLOCK, Calif. — The man who holds the Guinness World Record for living the longest with a bullet in his head has died in Central California at age 103.

The Modesto Bee reports ( ) that William Lawlis Pace died in his sleep at a Turlock nursing home Monday – 94 years and six months after his older brother accidentally shot him with their father's .22-caliber rifle in 1917. http://bit.ly/JHXmXv

Pace learned in 2006 that he had been crowned the world record-holder in the category of unwanted cranial ammunition acquisition.

His son told a newspaper during a birthday party for his father last year that doctors in Pace's native Texas left the bullet in place because they worried that surgery might cause brain damage. The injury damaged one of his eyes and facial nerves but didn't prevent Pace from working as a cemetery custodian.

As a first post to this glorious blog I've decided to pay homage to the late William Lawlis Pace, the official world record holder of "unwanted cranial ammunition acquisistion". While I have only known WLP (which is what i like to call him) for the 10 seconds it took me to read this article, i can tell that this guy is the definition of a boss. Lets start with the fact that this guy got shot in the skull with fucking rifle. Fuck your pistol son, WLP stepped up with the big boys and took a hunting weapon to the cranium. And after eating a bullet and just walking off like its no big deal, he tells the doc to go fuck himself. WLP said im keeping this bullet in my head like a boss bro for a minimum of 9 decades. Big Bill amassed 103 fucking years of living, 94.5 of those with ammo in his skull while working as a cemetery custodian. Everyday at the "final resting place" he told the Grim Reaper to suck his dick. Not only was WLP pissing on deaths face by straight up crushing years lived, he cleaned that shit too. Just raking around those head stones taunting the dead saying "what happened to you brohan only made it 65 years? ive had a cranial ammunition inside of my brain for longer". Furthermore the only damage was to one of his eyes and some facial nerves. Well everyone including WLP knows you have two eyes, and pirates have proven you can function at 100% with just one. Fact. Billy Boy shows us how to live a truly fruitful life, and there is no doubt in my mind this boss got blumpkin 4-15 times a week from the lucky lady who was fortunate enough to marry him.

But enough about WLP lets talk about the Guinness Book of World Records. Who the fuck invented the category "unwanted cranial ammunition acquisitions"? . My guess is that people who have unwanted scraps of "ammunition" inside their dome piece need something to fight for something to keep you keeping on. To bad this record wasnt around during the Revolutionary War because all those bros were taking cannon balls to the teeth day and night. By definition ammunition is a material used in the offense or defense of a position. If thats the case then im the world record holder of unwanted ammunition acquisitions of kitchen utensils to the torso because growing up my little brothers only defense was harpooning forks, knives, and spoons at me during our misunderstandings.

What i learned from the life of WLP is that true heroes do grace this earth and that literally anything can be a world record as long as your word it right.

Till next time you Jabronies